Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Truly Inspirational Tuesday

I'm trying something new. I've always felt sorry for Tuesday. It's kind of over looked because Monday is so huge, even though it's dreaded. Wednesday is hump day. We all look forward to it. It means we're half way through the week. And Thursday is always a breeze. Then there's Friday. I love Friday. When I pick up the children from school they're excited and always in a good mood. We order pizza. Watch a movie. Play a game. Fun Friday! Then Saturday...garage sale shopping. You know how I love that. Finally, Sunday. Lovely Sabbath day says it all.

But what about Tuesday?

So out of pity I'm starting something new with my blog. Truly Inspirational Tuesday. Today I'm posting an amazing email that I received from a few friends yesterday. Wait...Someone is trying to tell me something???

Well I got the message loud and clear. And I hope you do too.

Invisible Mother......
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store.

Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously, not.

No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England ..

Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in.

I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself.

I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .

I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:

'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.

These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.

They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.

It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life.
It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're going to love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right.

And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.


carmen said...

Nola, once again your post has left me teary-eyed and motivated to continue on with my job of being a mother, not just casually, but whole-heartedly!! I love you, and I think you are an amazing woman and mother!! Would you mind terribly if I shared you blog with my circle of friends (moms) here in WA?? I'd love for them to feel your sweetness! CK :o)

Nola said...

Wow! I'd love that. Thanks again for your sweetness.

Anonymous said...


I have read that story before but after you shared it it meant more to me. Thank you. It encourages all of us who have made motherhood what we do with our lives today. Love you,

Amy said...

I am one of the mother's Carmen mentioned. Thank you for allowing us to peek at your life. She is right in saying you are an inspiration. I can feel your spirit through your blog. Thank you for that sweet story too. I wish you the very best.