Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Looking ahead

We've been enjoying having Peter more like himself. Happy. The holidays were wonderful. Christmas was amazing. We were receivers this year of many thoughtful generous family,friends, and strangers. Thank you to all the angels that helped make it a memorable one. We felt so loved and thought of, which does something to our souls that is hard to explain. The kindness and compassion of these angels some how helps us feel the love our Heavenly Father has for us. Knowing and feeling this love gives us comfort, encouragement, and peace. All the things needed to help us deal with the challenges facing us.

When the doctor called last Monday to inform us about the recommendation of the expert on hepatoblastoma I was not surprise to hear what it was. More chemotherapy. Just to be sure. We want to be sure that we've done everything to get rid of this cancer, so we're willing to do the recommended two more rounds. Six more weeks. Peter will loose his hair again and for a couple of months he'll loose his laugh, his energy, and feeling good. The dread sit in. It's not fun to feel dreadful. Not a good way to start the new year. So I distracted myself with being with family and more celebrating of the New Year.

The last thing we did before we left for the hospital on New Year's day night was having the missionaries over for dinner. We made them breakfast. We enjoyed having them over and getting to know them. We've missed having the missionaries since August. What a wonderful spirit they brought into our home. After dinner they gave us a lesson on hope. Not a coincidence. Yet another example of the love Heavenly Father has for us, knowing I needed something extra. I think hope is the direct opposite of dread.

Off to the hospital hopeful; where we are blessed with kind hearted, skilled nurses and doctors.

Peter didn't fight this time. Maybe that's why the chemo hit him so hard. For 48 hours he was very sick. Then the magical hour came and it was out of his body and a new day. And I know I've described how it is driving home with him from the hospital before. Pure enjoyment. We left at noon. The sun was bright. The sky was blue {yes, even in polluted California} And a big smile on Peter's face. If I could read his thoughts I think he was thinking and noticing the beauty of this world and being alive to enjoy it. He probably thought he was never going to get out of that hospital room, or just grateful to finally be out again. That's what is so amazing about children. They bounce back quickly. And I am in awe of him. I'm just trying to keep up with him and this experience and all the insights that I'm learning because of cancer.

The main insight is that we all have a loving Heavenly Father that cares about us and what we're going through. He wants us to be happy and have joy. He sends others, family, friends, strangers, to help us feel that sometimes when were struggling. I'm looking forward to playing that role better in the future.


Lindsey said...

I love you Nola. :)

Cheryl said...

Nola no matter what you say I always seem to be crying and shedding a tear. Our prayers are with your family. We love you and sweet little peter. We want him to stick around for many years to come. Whatever it takes! And we are always here. Just around the corner, down the street and a few more corners. Luv you!

carmen said...

It was nice to read your words. I love what you wrote about Heavenly Father's love for us. I need to recognize that more in my life. I have been feeling a little down lately, and your words always inspire me to focus on the positve and be grateful for the many blessings that would be easy to take for granted. I love you, Nola. And, as always, you and your family, specifically Peter, are always in our thoughts and prayers. I love having the missionaries over, too. Isn't it a good feeling?? Love YOU!