Even boys like picnics

I heard on the news this morning that seven states were under "a state of emergency" due to severe winter storms. So on their behalf the boys and I had a lunch picnic. How could we not? I would've felt guilty if we had chosen to stay indoors on a nice warm sunny winter day.
We ate simply. Peanut butter sandwiches, wheat thins with cream cheese, and Doritos. The conversation was even more simple. And funny. Andrew always comes up with good "what ifs?" He gets excited for the slightest of wind, always wanting to fly a kite.

Boys are so different. Could life really be this simple?

When the cup of water and ice tipped over I put a small piece of ice down Andrew's shirt and he loved it. Laughing and screaming. I won't mention any names, but I know a daughter that would not have thought that was so fun. {and a mommy; yes me}

Beautiful day.

Note to self: Remember to take time for more picnics.

Truly Inspirational Tuesday

I'm trying something new. I've always felt sorry for Tuesday. It's kind of over looked because Monday is so huge, even though it's dreaded. Wednesday is hump day. We all look forward to it. It means we're half way through the week. And Thursday is always a breeze. Then there's Friday. I love Friday. When I pick up the children from school they're excited and always in a good mood. We order pizza. Watch a movie. Play a game. Fun Friday! Then Saturday...garage sale shopping. You know how I love that. Finally, Sunday. Lovely Sabbath day says it all.

But what about Tuesday?

So out of pity I'm starting something new with my blog. Truly Inspirational Tuesday. Today I'm posting an amazing email that I received from a few friends yesterday. Wait...Someone is trying to tell me something???

Well I got the message loud and clear. And I hope you do too.

Invisible Mother......
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store.

Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously, not.

No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England ..

Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in.

I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself.

I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .

I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:

'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.

These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.

They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.

It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life.
It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're going to love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right.


And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Hero of the day

What a day!

I was feeling enormously proud of my efforts towards
my motherly duties.
picture of boys taken a year ago

Any mother that wakes up early to bake homemade rolls for a preschool aged son's Snow & Mitten party would be pleased with herself. Especially, after being awake with the other son from midnight until 4am for the past two nights. The chemo has thrown his sleeping routine off a bit. It's okay. At least he's happy when he's up during the night. We've taught him how to run the dvd/vcr and tv. Actually, we didn't teach him. He just picked it up. WOw. That kid is a smart one or it may be a sign of too much movie watching. My father-n-law would say he is mechanical.

Also, the dishwasher unloaded and loaded, and kitchen cleaned up all before the morning mass Exodus to school. A double bonus for the good mommy of the morning award for not raising my voice one time.

Grandpa Doug came over to be with Peter so I could work my day at Andrew's preschool. We picked up his fellow class mate and great friend. We talk about trucks, Dooleys (trucks with two rear tires each side), real boy things all the way to school.

We return home after the crazy, fun time at preschool, exhausted, not Andrew though. Lack of sleep is starting to catch up with me and the return of my low back pain is starting up again thank you to the little school chairs and bending over to help the children with their snowman art project. It's okay though, I have a muscle relaxer that I can take when John gets home, in case it knocks me out.

But first, I had to take Peter on the animal tour of Redlands and Mentone. He was begging to get out to see the pig and the moo, and the alpacas. Pictures of these local residents to come in the future. You must know, the pig is huge. Peter thought it was a horse. Seriously big. This has became an almost daily ritual for Peter these past six months. He loves animals. When he's not feeling well and has cabin fever we go on the tour. Highlight of the day for him.

Then the next highlight of the day. John gets home early from work. He and Andrew head outside to work on the play set {this has been a year long project} I'll spare you the details of the rise and fall and then rise again of the play set. After 15minutes John struts in to tell me the conversation he's been having with Andrew.

Andrew talks non stop. He has a lot to say. And he has a lot of questions to ask. A LOT. In between the hammering. Andrew tells John, "I love building. You're the best dad." My heart really melted and I was happy for that, but..... He didn't even go to work today. He was golfing with work buddies. He's not home 15 minutes and he gets the praises of Andrew. Not easy to get.

The last time I got "mom, you're awesome." was a year ago when I made cookies with m&m's in them. And believe me I've been awesome a few times this past year.

John's turn tonight for the midnight to 4am duty.

What to do today...

I'm back to making a list of the things I need to do each day.

This list should say Tuesday, though, or else I'm really behind. It feels like a Monday...

My rules for making to do list:

1. 
   
   You don't need to write down the essentials; like: brush teeth, read scriptures... {Here's a little something that will embarrass my dad. When I was little my dad had his daily to do list posted at his desk and it read: read newspaper, ..., go hockey} never mind embarrassing my dad, I'm embarrassed.}
2. 
   
   You have to throw in a couple of easy tasks so you have something to cross off for the day if you get side tracked.

Side tracked already.

Okay, now I really am behind. I'm watching the inauguration. Not on my to do list. Love Aretha's hat. Could I get away with wearing that hat? I didn't think so. I wasn't going to watch this because I didn't vote for Barack H. Obama but I couldn't stand not participating in history. How could I admit to my posterity one day, that I was working on my list of things to do for the day instead of watching the "greatest day...blah,blah,blah...."It is exciting however, that we have the first African American for president. It could've been the first woman as president, or the first Mormon as president. So sorry Brother Romney.

We were represented though.

Thanks Brother Bennett from Utah, for introducing the Chief Justice.

Picture of Andrew being really annoyed that his PBS morning cartoons were interrupted with this boring special report of the inauguration.

Let freedom ring. I can never resist taking a picture of Old Glory.

Was it just me or did it seem that Barrack had a hard time

repeating the oath of office after Chief Justice John Roberts?

Hopefully, just nerves.

Revised: I found out the next morning from the smarties on GMA that it was actually the Chief Justice, John Roberts, that made the mistake and that Prs. Obama was correcting him. I need to study up on my US Government facts. So my mistake. It wasn't his nerves. It was John Roberts.

Now back to my to do list.

Seeing the picture

If I hadn't taken the picture I wouldn't have noticed...

I thought that I was just taking a picture of my roses. I was so proud of these yellow, tinted with some pink, fragrant roses. So when I brought them in and arranged them for our center piece I had to take their picture.

Later, when I uploaded my daily photos, I noticed it in the background. Love. Isn't that what roses symbolize any way???

Note to self:

Take more pictures with or without a camera.

Notice what's going on in the background.

Can you water your garden?

Children are back to school this week. Back to our normal morning routines. John kisses me good-bye and then reminds me of a couple of things that need to be done; Mail the letters, return the movies, water our garden.

Okay. I say to myself that I can remember to do all those things.

Wait.

Water the garden???

Oh, what a loving husband. He plants me a garden in the winter. I was pleasantly surprised to see broccoli and onions growing quite nicely.

Sweet husband, doing the little things to keep a wife happy. We'll have our friends and family over soon for fresh steamed broccoli, and onions?

Did you feel it?

Yes!

It happens when you least suspect it. You might be cleaning, or just relaxing, or yes, you may even be on the toilet {2002}. No alarms go off. Out of no where without a warning the earth jolts, shakes, sometimes we hear only a loud groan, or a shutter, sometimes just the house creeks.

Last night at 7:49, {if you click on the highlighted words in red it will show you recent earthquakes. Then click on the big blue square and get the details of the earthquake.} I was giving Peter a little lesson on cleaning up a mess he made in the pantry with paper plates. Then it happened. An earthquake. This time it was a large jerk and then another. Then it turned into a gentle roll. Addie noticed the ceiling fan swaying. Andrew, who was sitting right next to Addie, didn't even notice. I think he was jumping off the couch at the same time.

So Duane, you missed it by a week. Maybe on your next visit you'll experience the rattling of your nerves knowing the earth just shifted.

Food storage. It's a good thing...

Looking ahead

We've been enjoying having Peter more like himself. Happy. The holidays were wonderful. Christmas was amazing. We were receivers this year of many thoughtful generous family,friends, and strangers. Thank you to all the angels that helped make it a memorable one. We felt so loved and thought of, which does something to our souls that is hard to explain. The kindness and compassion of these angels some how helps us feel the love our Heavenly Father has for us. Knowing and feeling this love gives us comfort, encouragement, and peace. All the things needed to help us deal with the challenges facing us.

When the doctor called last Monday to inform us about the recommendation of the expert on hepatoblastoma I was not surprise to hear what it was. More chemotherapy. Just to be sure. We want to be sure that we've done everything to get rid of this cancer, so we're willing to do the recommended two more rounds. Six more weeks. Peter will loose his hair again and for a couple of months he'll loose his laugh, his energy, and feeling good. The dread sit in. It's not fun to feel dreadful. Not a good way to start the new year. So I distracted myself with being with family and more celebrating of the New Year.

The last thing we did before we left for the hospital on New Year's day night was having the missionaries over for dinner. We made them breakfast. We enjoyed having them over and getting to know them. We've missed having the missionaries since August. What a wonderful spirit they brought into our home. After dinner they gave us a lesson on hope. Not a coincidence. Yet another example of the love Heavenly Father has for us, knowing I needed something extra. I think hope is the direct opposite of dread.

Off to the hospital hopeful; where we are blessed with kind hearted, skilled nurses and doctors.

Peter didn't fight this time. Maybe that's why the chemo hit him so hard. For 48 hours he was very sick. Then the magical hour came and it was out of his body and a new day. And I know I've described how it is driving home with him from the hospital before. Pure enjoyment. We left at noon. The sun was bright. The sky was blue {yes, even in polluted California} And a big smile on Peter's face. If I could read his thoughts I think he was thinking and noticing the beauty of this world and being alive to enjoy it. He probably thought he was never going to get out of that hospital room, or just grateful to finally be out again. That's what is so amazing about children. They bounce back quickly. And I am in awe of him. I'm just trying to keep up with him and this experience and all the insights that I'm learning because of cancer.

The main insight is that we all have a loving Heavenly Father that cares about us and what we're going through. He wants us to be happy and have joy. He sends others, family, friends, strangers, to help us feel that sometimes when were struggling. I'm looking forward to playing that role better in the future.

A Sweet Prayer for a New Year.

I love it when my family from Arizona comes for a visit. This time it was Duane, Tricia, & their three girls. We went to the San Diego Zoo with them. Very fun. Very busy. Never go between Christmas & New Year's, but it was still a great day.

When we finally made it home we were so tired from all the walking and driving. The dads fell asleep right away but all the children were wide awake because they slept in the car the whole way home. Tricia and I tried to calm them down with a movie and hot chocolate. No, the hot chocolate was for Tricia, to wake her up. I got comfy on the couch. And the next thing I realized, I was alone and still on the couch. The tv was off. The lights, most of them were off. The clock: 2am. I checked the doors and stumbled upstairs to my bed.

The next morning the first person I saw was Audrey, Duane's oldest. By the way, she was always the first one up in the morning. I asked her about the previous night. Apparently, I fell asleep while Tricia was talking to me. Then Tricia went to bed. Then Meagan & Addie went to sleep. That left Sadie 3, Andrew & Annelise 5, & Audrey 8 up watching Horton hears a who.

I love this movie. My favorite quote: "Stop having fun, immediately!"

What happened next? Audrey said that she and Andrew were the last ones to go to bed...at 11:30. She turned off the tv. That's nice. And yes, she was the first one up in the morning. What a cutie. All of Duane's girls are so darling.

Annelise

The Arizona visitors stayed with us through New Year's day. So after a late New Year's Eve celebration I woke up to make those yummy buttermilk waffles. Only the little girls were awake.

How fun to have a breakfast date with my darling nieces. I made them waffles and couldn't resist using the batten burg lace place mats and pink & white gingham napkins. {I adore girls} I asked Annelise to say the prayer. She accepted happily.

Please bless us to go home sleepy(I'm sure she meant safely)...Help us to choose the right...Please help us to love each other...Please bless Peter to get better...

Peter & Sadie & hippo

Update on Peter: We received a call from one of his doctors, telling us that the hepatoblastoma expert recommended two more rounds of chemotherapy. A little disappointed but understanding we agreed to it. We took Peter in on New Years day to start the first round. It hit him hard this time. But after it was out of his system he bounced right back and now he's home. He is amazing.

New Happy Year:)

A new year. Happy!
We used to have a contest in the Hallen Family this time every year. Who would be the one to come up with a great theme for the new year?

The rules: has to be inspiring and rhyme with the new year.

Past themes

Get it fixed in '96

A bit of Heaven in '97

Loose some weight in '98

I've been thinking up the rhyming new theme.

Should it be:

Save our dimes in '09

or

All fine in '09

Along those lines. I haven't even decided on my new year's resolutions yet. Am I too late? I know I should have one to loose weight. I pondered on this for a few minutes, maybe longer. Why is this so hard for me? All I need to do is loose 2 or 3 pounds a month and in a year...WOW. That really adds up. So put me down for that. Now an easy one... Rub lotion on my elbows everyday. My elbows are very dry and they always look dirty. Very annoying. I'll get back to you on the rest of my list.

The First Gift of Christmas

On Christmas Eve, after all the traditional happenings, it was time to settle the children down so the elves could get to work. Not an easy task. We had to read a few Christmas books: The Polar Express {we believe in this household & we do hear the ringing} and The Night Before Christmas. After reading that story I can never resist going to the front door and opening it to yell in my loudest & jolliest voice into the dark cold outside, "MERRY CHRISTMAS!" This is the most embarrassing thing a parent can do in front of their older children. I don't care. I still do it. And they actually follow me, hanging back a few feet, to see if I'm really going to do it.

This time Andrew yelled out the door too. So fun..:)

Then comes the great pleasure of tucking Andrew into bed for a long winter's night. I knelt next to his bed for 10 minutes or so just listening to him talk about all his Christmas wishes. The first wish he explained in detailed was how he knew Santa would bring him a John Deer tractor to ride on in the back yard. This is the thing he asked Santa for when he saw him at his preschool Christmas Party. I couldn't help the smile and happy heart as I listened...

A very good friend of mine had called me a few weeks ago to get the okay on a special surprise for Andrew from her 10 year old son. He was given a front loader as a gift one year and has out grown it and wanted to pass it on to a fellow tractor lover. We all know Andrew's dream to be a "Working Dad." Plans were made and the time was set for the special delivery. How wonderful to be on this end of the giving. It felt so good to know that Andrew would be the receiver of such a thoughtful & perfect gift, especially since we could not possible give him that amazing wish this year.

So the bell rang and we rushed Andrew to the front door to answer it. He had already been asleep for ten minutes. He couldn't believe his eyes. He was so confused but so happy. He rode it into the house and road it around in the living room {still no furniture} and he gave Peter a few rides. Then I read the note to him.

And with a beaming smile he said, "Mom, I'm so happy right now." I'll always remember how that felt. Amazing. He'll be hearing the ringing of Santa's bells for a long time. We all will. Thank you dear friends.:)

It's over already...

So many pictures and moments to choose from

but here are a few of the highlights of our

Christmas Celebration.

Never wake up a sleeping baby...

Not even on Christmas morning to open presents.

Hurry! Give him some chocolate. And he ate chocolate all day long.

That ought to be real good for the liver.

I used to get really upset and uptight seeing my children eating candy before breakfast on Christmas Morning. I guess I'm over that. Life is too short...:)


Ahhh, Christmas Eve at Grandma & Grandpa Hallen's home.

Delicious ham dinner and gifts as place cards.

The Nativity produced & directed by Addie & Madi.

Sydney happily accepted the role of Mary and of course Andrew was Joseph.

Uncle Gary played the role of the donkey.

We've had fights in past years of who gets to play this role.


Who can resist taking a picture of baby legs???

Cute, sweet Kendall.

The Christmas Pinata from Aunt Kaye.

She makes them every year for us.

Grandpa filled it with the good candy this year.

Christmas Eve.

The first gift of Christmas went to a very deserving person this year...
More details on this major highlight.

Thank you Santa angel!

"Mom. I'm so happy right now." -Andrew

Addie is now a proud owner of a Webkinz Zoo.

Meagan patiently waiting to open a gifts.

It's tough being the oldest.

Happy children.

Happy Peter.

What a blessing!

He's hardly cried these past few days.

That is definitely a Christmas Highlight!

A few of my favorite things...

I love Christmas. I love the color red. Thank you, Ma Kempton, for that. This is a little something that Addie made {for somebody for Christmas} with my much loved, button collection. I love it. She sewed on the buttons. Andrew painted the frame that came from a garage sale [of course]. Addie if you read this...I want one just like it.

I love this Santa that Andrew made at preschool. He looks so cheerful displayed in our family room. I love how you can curl construction paper with a pencil. I have to get this down about Andrew's thoughts regarding Santa Claus. He's been thinking hard about him these past few weeks. Andrew thinks that Santa lives by Heavenly Father. Sweet. And the other day I noticed a pile of coins under Andrew's Christmas tree in his room. Is he trying to bribe Santa??? Nope, he just wants to help him out with the cost of his presents

What consideration!

I can't wait for Andrew to open up his present that I just finished making for him tonight. He has been asking for a new quilt for his bed. The one he has on his bed is old. John & I received it from Aunt Gloria 18 yrs ago. It's dark blue on one side and matches his room. But it has a couple of rips. Andrew's really upset about this. So I went to the day after Thanksgiving sale to buy some flannel for his new quilt. I had to act pretty pathetic to get it. Long story. I also bought material for another little boy who needed a blanket, a friend adopted a family for CHRISTmas, and we signed up to help with that one thing. So poor Andrew had to hear all about this other little boy needing a blanket. John tells me of the night time dialogue from Andrew as he's tucking him to bed. "Dad, why doesn't mom just make me a blanket? I know she has the stuff to make it." So John put an extra blanket on him last night. Tonight, I tucked him into bed. "Mom, do you think they make blankets with construction trucks on it? Cause, I would really like that for a blanket. You have some on your ironing board." I told him that material was for a little boy who needed a blanket. He told me that he liked little blankets. Oh, I'm braking his heart making him wait until Christmas morning. I put another blanket on him. I can't wait to see him open that present. That's what Christmas is all about for me...I love it.

Candy can Christmas tree ornament.

I made this for a ornament exchange last week.

I wanted to keep this too.

It's made out of ribbon tied on to a real candy cane.

Only three more things to do and finish before Christmas eve. Yikes.

The panic is beginning...

Date Night

It's late. Everybody is asleep. I'm waiting to switch the clothes from the washer to the dryer so it gives me a few minutes to tidy up and blog. Yes, I actually cleaned up first. Proud of myself for keeping my priorities straight. It wasn't easy though.

We're starting a new tradition in our household.

Fun Fridays.

We pick up pizza for dinner. {that's not new}

Settle down and relax at home. And then: Let the games begin.

Okay, that's the only new thing there.

I realized a couple of things that made me wake up and want take hold of the time we have with our children. First thing, Meagan is 13 and soon will be wanting to go out with friends on Friday nights {natural evolution of a teenager. yuk}. She's going to figure out how uncool her parents really are and want to have grown up fun with friends. I think we have her fooled a little right now. But she's a smart one and I think she's catching on. And then I realized that every Friday night we sit down in front of the t.v. to be entertained for the rest of the night. That's so wrong because I'm quite entertained by my children.

So I shocked everybody a couple of Fridays ago when I announced that we were going to turn off the tv and play a game. I think I saw John roll his eyes and then I heard Andrew ask what that meant, play a game. Addie got into the FHE mode and started delegating the prayer, song, lesson, and treat.

So we played charades using Christmas song and movie titles. It was painful at first. Really painful. But we ended up laughing really hard. I dare you to invite us over for Christmas Charades. We have our own hand mimes for Christmas themes...watch out.

Tonight we taught them how to play spoons the Hallen way. I'm embarrassed to admit that we haven't played that simple game with them yet. They've played at friends homes with other families but not with us. Shame on us. Bad parents. That was such a basic game for me growing up. My brother, Bert, could fake a grab for the spoon that got me every time. John, though, he's a sly one. He sneaks the spoon and, well, let me just say...I dare you to invite us over to play spoons. Even our cool teenager was loving the game. So fun.

Next week, creepy crawlies. Is that what it's called??? I'd asked John but he's asleep.

Oh, the washer's done.

Festivities

Let the Christmas festivities begin...

{A photo essay}

Hallen's feeling the joy of Winter and the hustle & bustle of our Christmas prep.

It all started with the gift of snow in Mentone.

Andrew & Addie couldn't resist playing for an hour in their P.J.'s out in the blizzard.

I think they were able to make five snow balls before the snow turned back to rain.

Look at that snow line. [minus the telephone lines]

View from our backyard.

The kids are counting this as their first gift.

Why is there always fighting???

The coveted kitchen step stool.

Please, Santa, bring us another stool...

Dad, taking a break...a 2 hour computer game break.

Ughhhh...

Meagan found this cute little beanie from little brother,

Andrew's, drawer and has worn it all week.

I can't believe it fits her.

She must not have the big Hallen head.

Meagan playing her greatest hits.

Peter playing the piano with the wooden horse.

Addie was busy for the past two days making a gift for her teacher.

Chocolate thumbprints for the Cookie Exchange.

Very yum. Very chocolaty...

Last, but not least,

making & packaging up John's handouts for his office people.
[The only clean spot in the kitchen]

Tomorrow's photo essay:

Me, mom, cleaning the festivities mess...

So glad Meagan is off from school. Oh, I love having children.

I Love Apples

This made my day. And if you're an apple figure, it'll make your day too. Click here to read more about lovely apples

"Ignite the spotlight for middle figures. If your waist/hip or waist/bust ratio is greater than .75 {i'm not admitting this out loud}, absorb the glow of your moment. ...There are no bad or better body types. Swallow before the words "I'm exercising my way to an hourglass" spill out your mouth. They have their own jar or pickles. Now back to you, you and your soft delicious center. Your figure implies comfort with volume lying around your navel. You have the body type people want to cuddle. Especially tiny people, who most people call babies. Babies may have shaped your body into womanhood, and you should bear your wounds of motherhood with honor, not shame. Your waist is not a body flaw it is a body attribute..."

No more shame. Now I'm ready to face the world {okay, Andrew's preschool Christmas party} in my monochromatic outfit. Remember: Soft deliecous center...)

Patiently waiting for Christmas...

I am not even close to being ready for Christmas morning. The weird thing is...the panic hasn't hit me yet. And I don't think it will. I keep thinking that I should be more in a hurry to get things done. Finish gifts that need to be made. Bake the bread that we're going to pass out to our neighbors and friends. Oh, this is a big one; buy the stocking stuffers. Crafts to make with my children. But the Christmas cards are mailed and with only one mistake on them. I had to keep myself business those first few days in the hospital while Peter was sleeping.

I guess the reason for the lack of panic and stress...Christmas has already come to our home this year. We've been receivers of the First gift of Christmas but never a Christmas Miracle. WOw. I think this is how Christmas is supposed to be celebrated; without want of something to make us "happy" but realizing that we have all we need and that we are already happy. What else could I wish for this year??? I have so much. Family. Friends. Home. {now to help the children understand this...there lies the stress and panic}

Oh, the warmth that the Christmas Season brings.

Precious Christmas Gifts

There was a Christmas surprise waiting for Peter when he got home from the hospital today. Tadpoles. Not just any common tadpoles. This was a well thought out plan with the help of a few kind hearted teachers and schoolmates. It all started with a school assignment for Addie in November. Her class was learning how to write persuasive essays and she had to write one. She choose to persuade us to get a pet. I think we should get a pet frog for Peter. Her reasons were good ones. One touched my heart, especially. A pet frog would make Peter happy then mom could make dinner without him crying... I read this at Addie's teacher parent conference. I didn't realize that before but she's right. Peter crys a lot during dinner prep hours. I guess he's tired, not feeling well, having to share mommy with brother and sisters, and I can't hold him as much. Mrs. Cherry {love that name for a teacher} made an offer. Another teacher had tadpoles in her class for a science project and they needed a home. So with the approval of the students, and a banning on a strict Hallen no indoor pet rule, we accepted the sweet offer. Peter is going to have frogs for Christmas.

Andrew introduced Peter to his new pals. Not too cuddly now but in a few weeks or so it's going to be real fun. Meagan's already named them Alec and Alice. Hmmm. Where did those names come from??? She's so obsessed with Twilight. We're going to have to come up with new names.

Peter loves them. He laughs when they wiggle around and when they kiss the glass. He is very entertained. A big thank you to Mrs. Cherry, Mrs. Taylor, & Mrs. Moffet's class. Soo Sweet. Very much appreciated.

And the other precious Christmas gift was given to us on Tuesday evening. The surgeon told us the results of the pathology from Peter's surgery. The margins are clear. That was the news we were hoping and praying for. This means that there's only a 5% chance of it reoccurring.

The surgery went well. It took about 3 1/2 hours. Peter did amazingly well during it. He lost less blood than they anticipated for this type of surgery. The surgeons had to remove the whole right side of the liver and gull bladder. An amazing fact about the liver. It will grow back in about a week a or two. Incredible. The incision scar is really big. It looks a like a Mercedes Benz emblem. He did very well during the recovery. He finally knew when not to fight. We spent the next four days and nights in the ICU with wonderful nurses and doctors. I have so much respect and love for them. Great people. I will always remember their kindness, love, professionalism, and care. They got us through some difficult nights.

We were told that we could be there for up to two weeks. What a blessing that Peter did so well and we could come home early. We knew Heavenly Father would answer our prayers. We just didn't know it would be this great. John was driving to L.A. every day and then sleeping at home and then going to work for a few hours and then back again. Long hours. The Papa's have been taking care of house and home. I've heard from the older sisters that Andrew was a handful. Grandma & grandpa have earned their wings {again}. We are all exhausted.

And we are so grateful...Welcome Christmas season. The season of miracles.

More experiences to share coming soon.

The Ride of Your Life

I loved what Brother Holman said in his testimony back in August during Sacrament Meeting. Went something like this: "Life is like a ride. I'm just glad to be along for it. The ups and the downs." It stuck with me because at that time I was going through my one year post cancer check and had to be on the special low iodine diet, no dairy of any kind {you know that's not easy for me if you know how I cook} and no thyroid meds to act as my metabolism. And having thoughts, worries about cancer returning. What he said stuck with me because he was {is} battling cancer for the 3rd or 4th time. It gave me courage.

It's just what I needed to hear prior to Peter being diagnosed with cancer. Those words still give me courage.

But this picture explains it all.

1. Hold on tight
2. smile
3. pray

Lots of prayers have been said for Peter. Thank you a million times. Those prayers have been answered. Peter had his surgery. He's doing better than I expected. We don't know the results yet but he's doing amazing. The surgeons are optimistic. Mother and dad are encouraged. Peter is resting. I'm home for the afternoon for a nap in my own bed and a shower. More updates on Peter soon.